How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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