Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
