Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my being single is dangerous.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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