I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize