xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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