i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
