I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
