Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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