i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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