I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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