last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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