On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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