When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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