She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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