Where did you get a picture of my penis
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
as a side note pls kill me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
