I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize