Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
