Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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