I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
