he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
