im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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