If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
