Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
