Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
