big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
