I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
