I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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