marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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