See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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