Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
