omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
