gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
