she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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