I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
