Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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