to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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