ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
