Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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