And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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