Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
