i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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