Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
