What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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