I like to think it a success when the cops are called
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
