STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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