I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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