Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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