that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
