Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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