my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
