we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
