i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
