After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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