What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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