wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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