omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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