so that wasnt chicken after all
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
